Disclaimer: Nothing major has personally happened to me recently for me to be writing this, but I’ve seen it happen quite a bit online or had others I know be concerned about this. I’ve also been reading a lot about self-growth and this is always a topic so it’s been thoughts brewing in my mind that I’m spilling on today’s blog post.
Something that I think a lot of us have issues with as human beings is the fact that we tip-toe around what we do in hopes that others won’t talk poorly about us. But guess what?
People always will.
You could’ve just spent $1000 of your already low bank account to help feed the homeless at a shelter, get them basic necessities and people will still say you should’ve donated to another cause or done “something better” with your money. Or people will say you could’ve done something better to help them than using those $1000 to do those specific things.
With these kinds of people, you will never win. Ever.
But I get it – it’s really hard to ignore people who talk horribly, especially when it’s about you or a loved one. Sometimes these comments we see or hear warrant a response back, but a lot of times, it really doesn’t. It’s just fuelling the fire.
And I’m not innocent – when I do get attacked online or someone tells me off for what I’m doing with myself in terms of my health and what I’m choosing to do career wise, I tend to defend myself. I also defend people I care about when it’s necessary. It’s gotten me into trouble a few times but in the end, I’m glad I said something because those people who I spoke back to, never said anything to those I care about or to myself, ever again.
I’ve learned, though, that it is usually best to just say nothing. The person they’re attacking is not the only person they’re attacking and it usually comes from a dark place within. Something that reminds them of themselves that they aren’t completely satisfied with.
Although I said above that I wasn’t really attacked or anything, I did have a girl tell me a few days ago that my advice to someone about what they should do about their diet was “useless” and “equivalent to instagram fitspos with no certification who sell mastermind plans” because I haven’t gotten my diploma yet from school. I wanted to go off on this girl because 1) She was going around saying Keto diets are 0 carbs, 2) Kept telling me humans can live without carbs, and 3) Because she didn’t know what she was saying (0 education) and then tore me down as a person, equating me to people who have no morals, ethics or education and sell $10,000 “mastermind” plans for people to build their businesses. I was pretty offended until I stopped and quickly realized that this young girl just wanted to be right so badly, she had to resort to calling me names and insulting my intelligence.
You know what my solution was?
Block. Block. Block. Block.
When you’re online, seriously, BLOCK these people. A lot of people like to say once you’ve blocked someone, you lost or some ridiculous crapola, but you do not have to stay online and pay attention to those comments. Ignore it. Move on. You don’t owe any stranger on the internet the satisfaction of allowing them to slander you as a person if they don’t know you.
Unless you’re a bigot, racist, nazi, white-supremisist, Trump, believe in that dusty cheeto and so on – you deserve it all. You’re horrible people.
“What about the people I see or interact with daily and can’t block them?”
This may sound crazy to some people, but I honestly have different mantras or a song I love at that current point in time and start repeating those in my mind until I calm down. This may not work for everyone of course, so find something that will work for you. It doesn’t even have to be a mantra – it could be a word, like let’s say, calm. Just repeat it. “Calm calm calm calm calm calm calm”.
And then continue doing what is best for your life. People will always always always have opinions and it’s not up to you to make their opinions feel valid or to please them. Sometimes what you’re doing is completely out of the norm for the group of people you interact with daily, but that’s their problem. Not everyone has to conform to what they’re doing – we are all individuals who end up leading different lives with different passions. We live this life once so you might as well honestly do something that feeds your soul.
Now, before anyone goes and thinks that I think I’m innocent? Oh no. I’m not.
I’m opinionated. Very. But the difference is, I know that my opinion is mine and that others don’t have to do things on my terms. I know I can say whatever I want as many times as I want and people won’t change. I don’t expect them too, either. I mean, I don’t say whatever I want as many times as I want anyways but, hopefully you get what I mean.
We are all humans. We all have opinions. We all think things. We will never agree with 100% of the things another individual does, no matter how much we love them either.
So let people talk – if it bothers them, let it. That’s their problem. Keep growing, keep blooming and keep living the life you believe is right – Unless, again, you’re a bigot, racist, nazi, white-supremisist, Trump, and/or believe in that dusty cheeto 🙂