Live and Let Live

As a disclaimer, I’m going to start off by ensuring that as you’re reading this post, please know that I am 100% aware that I am not perfect, nor am I claiming to be. I have my faults and sometimes yes, I say some things that I realize afterwards, “Did that comment really need to be said?” or “Does that really affect me to a point where I had to say something?” We are all human, we make mistakes and judge but there is a difference when you’re plain rude/mean and when you realize you were just being a cranky, petty little person. There is a difference in being stubborn and thinking your opinion is the only right one and being able to accept that people think differently, it’s okay to disagree and that it’s okay that others live life differently than yours.

Now, with that being said, let me begin my rant.

I started my ‘fitness’ journey back in December 2014. My boyfriend was teaching me the ins and outs of weight lifting, IIFYM and all things in not being strictly a cardio bunny. I was already super petite and about 15 pounds underweight (which I later found out had to do with the tumour in my brain, we will get to that later) so I really wanted to focus on gaining strength and muscle. I started following Katy Hearn (love her – for me, she’s the perfect example of doing her own thing, being supportive and not causing drama. Her and Haydn = da bomb), Brittany Lesser, Nikki Blacketter, and then a ton of other women who I thought were legit but actually ended up having fake gains – which I have no problem with if they got implants anywhere… just don’t sit there and lie about it for sales, follows and attention. That’s a whole other point for another time.

Anywho.

I started following a bunch of fitness girls and quickly realized there was a lot of bs in terms of body image, what to do, what not to do. Cookie cutter bullshit. As this was coming into realization, I started unfollowing a lot of people because I realized it just wasn’t realistic. I began following women with smaller follows because they kept and still keep it real. Not every girl I followed kept it real, of course, some were super judgemental. I was doing well at the gym, gaining the weight I wanted, seeing muscle forming and July 2015 that quickly went away. I had no energy, strength or mental capacity to be at the gym. All I would see on instagram and twitter still was “NO DAYS OFF” “GYM BEFORE SLEEP” “NO EXCUSES, YOU’RE NOT TIRED, YOU’RE LAZY”. So I pushed myself incredibly at the gym even though I was aching, in a terrible mood constantly, overly exhausted, getting hives and I was MISERABLE. It was a CHORE to be at the gym. Instead of listening to my body, I kept pushing myself, putting more stress on my body and this was all because I was being told I was being too lazy or people would insinuate it. I also didn’t want to seem like a baby to people online because I did tell myself, “I’m tired but if so and so can do it, so can I”. I could go on and on about how messed up my body is now but I’ll cut to the chase – By August 15th of 2016, I found out I indeed have a tumour in my brain and that what I have is called Cushing’s Disease. Going to the gym at the intensity I was doing my work outs at was actually harming my body further. Before finding this out, I was so scared of further trying to make friends on fitness twitter because I knew I couldn’t “fitness as hard” as most and was scared of being rejected. I mean, until this day, I still don’t have “fitness friends” online, but I follow a few amazing young women who follow me back and although I don’t chat with them as much as I wish I could, they follow me back and don’t judge me on the fact that I can’t and don’t post fitness content day in and day out.

So what is the point of me sharing my personal story? My point was that not everyone’s body or journey is the same as yours. And just because you have a certain lifestyle, doesn’t mean yours works for everyone else. Aka stop being rude online and attacking people personally for their fitness/health choices or being petty and indirectly talking crap about them. There could be something severely wrong with the person you’re shaming for not having the same choices as you.

I’ve been seeing this on twitter so damn hard lately and it makes me incredibly sad to see women putting other women down so intensely just because they don’t go to the gym 6 days a week or count every damn number of the food they’re  putting into their mouths or if they choose not to. Guess what? IT DOESN’T AFFECT YOU!!!! HOW AMAZING IS THAT TO REALIZE?! Holy crap, it’s amazing! You don’t have to agree with their choices, but did you also know you don’t need to comment on it every single time or shove your beliefs and lifestyle down someone else’s throat?

Did you know people can take as long of a break from the gym that they want if they feel physically drained? Mentally drained? And it still won’t hurt you? And actually, it won’t hurt them either if they’re doing it to rest, be mindful and recharge. Because in my damn opinion, you need to rest to be your best (lol, unintentional rhyming).  I personally believe that for your body to be its best, your mind does, too. It’s something you can’t have without the other. But hey, if you’re good with not taking rest days at the gym, good on you. Glad you don’t battle a mental demon like quite a few of us do or that if you do and you can push through it, congrats. Good on you, more power to you. But do not belittle someone because they choose to do something they think is right for them.

There are A LOT of things I see people doing to their bodies that I don’t agree with and I think are ridiculous but do I tweet them nasty things or indirectly say crap about them? No. I don’t. Because my opinion doesn’t matter and it’s their life. It’s truly amazing how my life still keeps moving forward even though people do things I don’t agree with – damn amazing!

So my message is: If you’re full of hate for people eating pizza, not eating pizza, counting or not counting macros, going to the gym 24/7 or not going 24/7, for someone getting breast implants or not, etc etc – SHUT UP. LIVE AND LET LIVE. It really isn’t that hard. And if you dislike content someone is posting, I have some advice for you: unfollow, mute or BLOCK. Those were created for a reason… USE IT. They’re fantastic tools, I use them whenever I’m sick of someone’s crap. Truly, it’s great. Life changing is what it’ll be for some of you – try it.

This rant has gone on long enough – I’m sure I missed a few points but I think I got across my 2 cents that no one truly asked for but I am so sick of the hate that I had to say something. It’s truly disappointing to see when people are all “omggggg luv u bb!” and then 10 mins later they’re hating on someone or hating on that exact person.  Cut the fake ish – if you don’t like the person, don’t interact with them, don’t lie to them, don’t hate on them. Live your life, send love to those you truly care about. Life is too short to be hating, especially online. Hate takes so much energy to spread. If you’re going through something or not content with yourself, please take the time to find things to better yourself. That is all 🙂

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